As I ran naked up the side of a 60-story skyscraper, pursued by two aliens on hoverbikes, I started to wonder ‘am I actually enjoying myself here?’
When I reached the top and found more enemies waiting for me, these dressed as neon gorillas, I thought ‘surely there’s a point when all this ridiculousness becomes just too much?’
I picked up one of the gorilla-men with my telekinesis powers and bowled him into his friends, knocking them off the roof. As I did this, I mused ‘MWAHAHA FEAR MY GOD-POWERS, PUNY MORTALS!’
Long story short, Saints Row IV might be the most fun I’ve had in ages. All it requires is for you to turn your brain off.
If you took all your James Bond books and your Ocean’s Eleven DVDs, and you blended them all together, you’d make a mess and would probably need to buy a new food processor. Somehow though, Pocketwatch Games has managed to do just that, and have come up with a fantastic little stealth puzzler that is in equal parts charmingly simple and devilishly entertaining.
As it’s a Bank Holiday weekend here in ol’ Blighty, this sounds like the perfect time for me to tell you my Opinions on a great little title that’s managed to steal my heart, called Monaco: What’s Yours is Mine.
Bioshock Infinite is Ken Levine’s latest creation, and possibly his best creation to date. While it can suffer from some flat story-telling and combat at times, overall it is a well crafted adventure through another beautifully created world, full of detail, beauty and great action.
Gather round, ye children of God! Rest thy weary soul and listen as I tell you the tale of the glorious city of Columbia! These are My Opinions, and there shall be no spoilers!
Because I am a Useless Person of the highest order, I got totally sidetracked and forgot to write up my opinions on the second episode of Game of Thrones. If you want to read a fantastic take on the episode, I can direct you here to read something written far better than I could manage.
I will warn everyone now that this season of Game of Thrones may be even more confusing than the last. The characters are all over the place, both geographically and politically. As such, you might have to get used to the ten minute ‘Previously On’, as it’s going to help your poor brains keep up.
Now, without further ado, here are my spoilerific thoughts on the third episode, where dark wings and darker jokes seem to be the flavour-of-the-day. From start to finish, most of the characters seem to be having a snigger at other people’s bad luck. Everyone seems to be having a jolly good laugh. Nearly everyone, at least… Continue reading
“Listen, all this takes a lot of gettin’ use to. And you do get used to it, after a while.
There’s three things I’ll always miss though:
One, not havin’ to watch my step all the time.
Two… Ah, forget about two…
And three… I miss the songs…”
Bastion is beautiful. There’s no other word that can describe it so completely. From the story to the art design to the music, it is a creation of genius that most can only aspire to achieve. A watercolour fairytale told to your inner-child by a fireside grandfather. A tale of love, loss and war, of monsters in the dark and in our hearts.
Do yourself a favour: go and play Bastion right now. I can guarantee that you will not regret it, and I don’t want to ruin anything here before you’ve experienced it for yourself.