I’m currently in the process of transferring to a new host for the site. This has become more hassle than I was led to believe, but this is my fault because a five-step process won’t work if you only complete four steps, apparently.
Anyway, please bear with me while this takes place. The site might disappear, or look funny, or not work with bookmarks, or any of a thousand other things. We’ll still be located at http://www.ramshacklethoughts.com
An abandoned excavation site.
A derelict space station.
A mysterious Device.
There’s so much I want to discuss about The Stanley Parable. That’s the kind of experience it is – you’ll sit and watch and play and think. Then you’ll want to grab someone else who has played it, shaking them vigorously while shouting “LET’S TALK ABOUT WHAT IT ALL MEANS!” and soon you’re both frothing at the mouth. Then you’ll rush off and recommend it to someone else who hasn’t played it and grab them. “PLAY THIS IT WILL MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT IMPORTANT STUFF!” you’ll yell, and they’ll reply “Why are you both so frothy?”
You can’t tell them why they need to play it though, because that would ruin the experience. That’s what I’m worried about here – I don’t want to ruin it for anyone. So I’ll just say this now:
My Opinion is that you should play The Stanley Parable. If you’ve ever thought about video-game design for more than five seconds, you will appreciate it. If you’ve never thought about video-game design, then it might be even more eye-opening for you. But that’s all I can safely say on the matter. I can’t promise that anything I say from now on won’t negatively affect your experience of the game.
When Stanley came to a set of links, he chose to ‘Continue Reading’…
My swallow-like craft flits between the towering mountains and ominous ruins. I dance between patches of sun and shadow, trying to outpace the coming night. I feel graceful and swift, free as the bird my craft so prettily imitates.
Then I lose focus for two seconds and smear myself all over the place.
Sighing, I pick the controller back up and try again, with a smile on my face.
As I ran naked up the side of a 60-story skyscraper, pursued by two aliens on hoverbikes, I started to wonder ‘am I actually enjoying myself here?’
When I reached the top and found more enemies waiting for me, these dressed as neon gorillas, I thought ‘surely there’s a point when all this ridiculousness becomes just too much?’
I picked up one of the gorilla-men with my telekinesis powers and bowled him into his friends, knocking them off the roof. As I did this, I mused ‘MWAHAHA FEAR MY GOD-POWERS, PUNY MORTALS!’
Long story short, Saints Row IV might be the most fun I’ve had in ages. All it requires is for you to turn your brain off.
**CLASSIFIED**TOP SECRET**AUTHORISED ACCESS ONLY**
The following files are extracts from mission logs of the Ministry of Defence’s XCOM branch and, mainly, the personal memoirs of its commanding officer. The information here pertains to a series of missions that took place following the First Contact events of early 2015, in conjunction with recorded operations for US-XCOM, United States.
Continuing to read these reports without proper clearance may result in sanctions, as outlined under the Official Secrets Act 2015. This disclaimer acts as a first notification and final warning of this fact.